Pulsation
by SerenaStrike
Summary: Roy/Riza. Lemon. After Shamballa. It's back to the old grind for most soldiers at Central. Unfortunately, it seems that there are some unanswered questions for some.


After the portal was closed, work at Central was a little…slow.

"Okay, Fuery, pick four girls."

"What?"

On the board, there were five letters. M-A-R-S-H. Falman, Breda, Havoc, and Fuery all focused their attention toward it. It was Fuery's turn to have his future predicted. Breda stood at the board, chalk in hand, waiting for Fuery's response. They all laughed at the outcomes of the game, just as grade school girls would.

"That's how the game works, Fuery. Pick four girls that you wanna marry. Then we get to pick the last one," explained Breda.

"C'mon Fuery. There's got to be someone you're interested in," said Falman.

"Haha, yeah. What about Schezka?," laughed Havoc.

Fuery turned a deep red color and looked toward his feet. So maybe he had a crush on Central's own bookworm. It wasn't everyone's business.

"I…I don't think this is the appropriate time to talk about this. We're at work. Shouldn't we be working?" He stomped towards his desk and sat down, beginning to furiously write up a non-existent report. _Stupid Havoc. Can__'__t even find a girlfriend himself. Hmph._

Suddenly, a voice rose up from the back of the room.

"I believe your cohort is right. You should be working." Brigadier General Roy Mustang didn't even look up from his daily newspaper. Fuery was the last of the boys to be analyzed by the game, and frankly, Mustang was a little tired of the commotion.

"Aww, come on, Sir! Hawkeye's meeting only lasts another 30 minutes. We'll get back to work when she is back," said Breda, not planning on stopping the game anytime soon.

Mustang didn't know how Hawkeye did it. He was in charge of these men, yet it was only her who could keep them under control. Why was that?

"Alright, fine. One more round. Then I want you back at your desks. Pronto," said Mustang, still reading the paper.

Just as he was about to start one of his many "behind-the-paper" naps, he was interrupted.

"Say, General… Since Fuery's being a baby right now and we haven't heard much from you… What do you say if you fill out the last round?" Havoc smiled and wandered up to the board to erase Fuery's game.

Mustang sighed. He knew arguing would get him nowhere. Their work ethic was out the window hours ago. "Only if you promise that this is the last time you'll play this stupid game."

"We swear! We'll even stop ragging on you about your girlfriends!" said Breda, visibly excited.

"Yeah, yeah. Now what are the rules again?" Mustang stood up, stretched, and grabbed a seat next to Falman.

Havoc grabbed the chalk from Breda and wrote "Mustang" in the corner of the board.

"You haven't been paying attention, Mustang? I figured you couldn't read your paper while listening to our racket," said Havoc, chuckling a little.

"I've learned to read through your excruciatingly loud behavior."

Mustang laughed along with them, something he wouldn't have done two years before. After Fullmetal went through the portal, he'd lost hope for the future of Amestris. He went into seclusion at a remote security outpost, losing touch with most of Central. He gave up his title and his alchemy for a life as a recluse, hoping for a return that may never happen.

It was extremely hard to leave his men. But not as hard as it was to leave his First Lieutenant. Riza Hawkeye was his confidante and friend. He wouldn't be the leader he was today if it wasn't for her. The whole time he was gone, he'd kept a small picture of the two of them together. It was taken candidly at a military gathering. Neither of them were looking toward the camera, but they were laughing and smiling towards something happening out of frame.

He hadn't noticed until then, but his arm was around her waist. How often did this happen? How many times had they been together in front of coworkers acting like that?

But even after he came back and shouted orders, regaining his position, he hadn't thanked her for what she had done. He showed appreciation in small ways, but nothing that really made a lasting impression.

And it wasn't just her advice and good listening skills that he wanted to appreciate. It was her eyes. Her long, blonde hair. Her perfect skin. Her—

"Mustang! Pick a honeymoon spot!" shouted Havoc, snapping Roy out of his pleasant reverie.

"Oh. Sorry. Hmm…Paris?"

"Aww, sir. I never pegged you as a romantic," said Falman.

"Well, if you count sleeping and dumping as 'romantic'," joked Breda.

"That's not exactly how it works. And I thought you guys said no more jokes about my dating life."

"I'm sure they'll wait until the game is over, sir," said Fuery from his desk. He looked at Mustang as if to say "what do you expect?"

Mustang chuckled and answered more questions. Apparently, the game went something like this: Havoc would throw out a category and let Mustang choose four different options. Breda, Havoc, and Falman got to decide the last option. Because of this, most of Mustang's 5th options were fairly negative. For example, under "Vehicle", number five read "sled". Havoc even drew Mustang in a dogsled being pulled by little Black Hayates while he waited for Mustang's answers.

The game continued and Mustang continued to answer. He looked at his watch. Ten minutes until Hawkeye returned.

"Alright, Mustang. The last category. Girls," smiled Breda.

"Oh, really? Can I skip this one?"

"Nope. It completes the game!" said Falman. Mustang gave them a look and sighed.

"Fine. Umm…I guess I'd pick Sophie from the bookstore."

"You went out with her once! Remember, this is the girl you're going to marry," said Falman.

Roy knew what he wanted to put. He just couldn't let what he truly felt be known. He had to be strong. But looking at the boys, he knew what number five was going to be.

"I haven't really had a serious relationship with anybody, you know. It's a little difficult to pick one that's stood out."

"Well, you can pick someone that you haven't been with. Heck, pick a celebrity," said Falman.

Mustang looked down. He knew who he wanted to choose. It would be his first answer. She would always be his first answer.

"Oh…What about Grace from the flower shop?"

"GRACE! THAT WAS MY GRACE!" yelled Havoc, causing a commotion. Mustang laughed at the memory of the guys taunting Havoc about his inability to keep a woman.

Mustang spouted off a few more women. Then came the moment of truth.

"Hmm…Let's see. The last woman…" said Havoc, tapping his index finger on his chin.

Roy just looked toward the ceiling. He didn't want his face to show when they wrote her name on that fifth line.

"Tough decision." Breda smirked at the General.

Suddenly, Falman yelled out.

"Catherine Armstrong!"

"Oh, that's perfect, Falman! I'd love to see the General paired up with her. She'd beat the crap outta him," said Breda, grabbing the chalk from Havoc and scribbling it down.

Havoc's cheerful face fell as he looked at Falman. "Thank you for bringing up that lovely subject from the past."

In a way, Mustang was relieved. His cover wasn't blown yet. And this would have been a pathetic way of hinting towards it. But he wanted so badly to let her know.

"Alright, now for the count off. Mustang, when you feel like it, say stop," said Breda. He began drawing lines on the board.

All the men were startled by the opening of the door beside the board.

--

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye walked down the hallway toward the office. She paused in her steps and peered towards the door. She heard lots of laughing and talking coming from the inside.

She marched over and stood in front of it. Clutching her reports to her chest, she leaned her right ear against the oak slab.

She distinctly heard Breda's voice. He was talking to Mustang.

"…_this is the girl you__'__re going to marry__…"_

Her heart leapt into her throat. What on Earth were they talking about? And why was she so nervous all of a sudden?

Mustang had been her superior ever since she joined the military. She had always worked below him, protecting him when he needed it. She vowed to take her own life only if it meant to keep him safe. He told her about his problems and asked her for advice. As much as she disliked the term, he was her best friend here at Central. Even though that's the label she used, she knew it was more than that. She wanted to tell him everything, but she knew that day would never come. He would eventually become Fuhrer and she would have to give up her position and leave his side. Once at the top, he wouldn't need her anymore. She held her breath as she imagined his future induction. It frightened her more than anything. To lose him…would be a death wish for her.

She honestly almost lost her mind when he left. He stopped talking to her completely. Fullmetal's disappearance had broken him, and in turn, it had broken her as well. She knew that he wasn't gone forever. She stayed on to protect the boys until he came back. It was terrifying to think that she might have to order them around alone.

Shaking her head of her thoughts, she pressed her cheek against the door again.

"…_Grace from the flower shop__…"_

That was definitely Mustang's voice.

She stared at the floor. She almost laughed. She was naïve to think that Brigadier General Roy Mustang of the Amestris State Military would be harboring feelings for his subordinate. But still…It made her stomach feel full of rocks.

She then heard a loud proclamation and more commotion.

_Snap out of it, Hawkeye. You need to get control of your men. Lord knows Mustang can__'__t do it._

She quickly opened the door and surveyed the room. Not one soldier was at their desks. As she looked to her left, she saw them all crowded around the board, staring at her. They rushed to salute her.

"May I ask what you are doing, gentlemen?"

"We were just getting ready to go back to work, Lieutenant! We took a small break to clear our heads," said Breda, dropping the chalk to the floor.

"Then I suggest you get back to work immediately. We can't let those reports go un-reviewed. The deadline is in an hour, you know," Hawkeye said, closing her eyes as she walked to the General's desk.

"Hawkeye is right. I'm sure you can all stay busy until then." Mustang stood up from his chair and followed Hawkeye.

"Sir, these are minutes from the meeting. Our higher ups suggested you read them over and become familiar. You are to attend a similar meeting next week." She sat them on the corner of his desk.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I assume you'll be going home at the same time that everyone else is tonight? I won't let you pull another all-nighter again."

Hawkeye smiled. "That's very kind of you, sir, but if they've wasted time again, I'll have to stay later." She walked back to her desk and began the initialing process.

That hour passed without much incident. She thought she heard Mustang's faint snores once or twice, but she brushed it off. She was almost sure that he stayed up all night thinking instead of sleeping. That made her question – did he think about her?

She shook off another daydream before it got too heated. As she looked up from her paper, she noticed her cohorts standing and stretching. She glanced at the clock. _5 O__'__clock already? Well, not for me._

Riza looked down at the stack of reports. She had barely gotten through the first inch of them, let alone finish. Of course, the boys were already slipping out of the room, yelling goodbyes to and from each other.

"Seeya tomorrow, Hawkeye," said Fuery, the last of them to leave. "I'm sorry they were so lazy again today."

"It's okay, Fuery. They're usually like this," she sighed. What a group of men. But all of them were extremely good at what they did on the battlefield. She considered herself blessed. She could've been stuck with a leader like Armstrong. She laughed. _Now there__'__s a company who I doubt gets much done._

The door closed, leaving Hawkeye and Mustang to themselves. The General got up from his chair and stretched.

"Looks like it's just us again, Hawkeye. Care for anything while I'm up?"

Hawkeye didn't look up. "No, sir. Just a little bit of silence while I finish these."

Roy smirked. Her work ethic was definitely something he liked. When she wanted to do something, she did it. No questions. He admired her.

He walked out the door and past the board.

Unfortunately, he never remembered to erase it.

--

The evening passed with little conversation. The two of them sat at their desks, staring at the large amounts of paperwork they had left.

"Well, Hawkeye, I'm up for a quiet evening at home. What do you say?"

Riza looked up from her work and stared at the General.

"You're just going to let these go unfinished? They were supposed to be in hours ago. I doubt if Central would want them in any later," she protested, leaning back and crossing her arms.

"Hawkeye, you're here every night. You deserve some time off. You work your ass off for these guys and they get to go home at five. I'm begging you. Take a night off," he said, getting up and stretching again.

She knew Mustang was right. But what would Central say when the reports came a day late? This isn't the first time this had happened on account of their company.

"Lieutenant, I will take care of it. I promise. Let's both get out of here and get a good nights' sleep. I know we both need it." The General yawned dramatically, as usual.

"I'm surprised you're so low on sleep when you take so many naps at your desk during the day."

He almost looked shocked for a minute. "Hawkeye…you know me too well."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But you're right. Maybe I should go home." She felt unsure, but she'd only had 4 hours of sleep this week. And it was Wednesday.

"It's 11. You need your rest. Hell, I'll even walk you there."

She gave him a look. "I can take care of myself, you know. I am a capable member of this company. I'm sure a simple walk home is something I can handle."

"Hawkeye, it's 11. Who knows what could be lurking outside? I'd feel more comfortable if my First Lieutenant was escorted."

Hawkeye sighed. It _was _11. And she was in no mood to argue.

"Alright, fine. But this is the only time. I still need to clean up a few things around here. Sort through the reports and set them on the respective desks. The guys have quite a lot to do tomorrow."

Mustang smirked at her. He leaned back on his desk edge. "You always keep them under control. Why can't I do that?"

She smiled back. "Because in some ways, you're just like them."

"And how do you figure that?" His arms were crossed like he was expecting a serious answer.

She wandered over to the board that had not yet been erased. She pointed up at the name "Mustang" written at the corner.

He looked slightly worried, but tried to keep his cool. "That was a just a stupid game we played earlier. Their work ethic is at zero when you walk out that door. I told them I would play if they went back to work afterwards. You walked in before we could finish."

Hawkeye sighed and picked up the felt eraser. She started at the top and sneezed a little. She hadn't played this game since she was in grade school. _Of course, these guys would be playing it at their age._

She glanced at some of Mustang's answers and chuckled. The guys were cruel to him on the fifth answers. A sled? Honeymoon in desert outside of Leore? Even she wouldn't be that cruel. Plus she always knew their honeymoon would be in—

_What are you thinking, Hawkeye? You have completely lost it today. _

She shook her head. She was almost finished when she reached the right bottom corner of the board. It read "Girls". Underneath was a list of women who's names she'd never even heard before.

_This is who he chose? These dense women he__'__s dated once? _

Well, in all honesty, what did she expect? Their relationship never went beyond co-workers anyway. And that's how it should stay.

But still. She couldn't help but feel a little sinking in her heart. She just thought that it wasn't like that anymore. But she couldn't expect him to change completely.

She dropped the eraser on the chalk tray and went over to grab her coat. Fall had come around early, so it was a rather chilly evening.

Mustang sat the last report down and stepped over to his desk.

"Ready, Lieutenant?" He grabbed his coat and slung it over his shoulder.

"As I'll ever be, sir."

She glanced at the blank board one last time, wondering where her heart had been before any of this ever happened.

--

"Jesus, when did it get so cold?" Mustang shoved his hands in his pockets as he made his way down the street. Hawkeye walked beside him, well-prepared with her pair of gloves.

"Seasons change, sir. This happens every year and everyone is shocked. I never understand it," she said, shaking her head.

Mustang chuckled. "Hawkeye, you make me laugh."

Riza looked to the side. She smiled to herself. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop thinking about that stupid game. She knew it was a game. She knew she shouldn't worry about it. But she did. _Hawkeye, his personal life is none of your business. Stop worrying._

Mustang noticed the look on her face. She was thinking.

"Hawkeye? Hawkeye, are you okay?" He leaned forward to get a better look at her face.

"Oh, what? Sorry. I was just thinking about things." They both turned to round a corner. Only two blocks from her small apartment building. Mustang led the way like he'd walked to her place every day.

"Oh really? Like what?"

It was 11. Riza was tired. When you're tired, you sometimes ask questions and say things that you normally wouldn't say. And this time, Riza was extremely tired.

"Mustang, why did you leave two years ago? Why did you leave when Fullmetal went through the portal? I've never understood it."

Mustang sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked ahead.

One more block. One more block to explain himself.

"I couldn't take it. I felt like he was my responsibility. I failed him and Al. It killed me every day afterwards to see the look on Al's face. He wanted his brother back so bad. And I knew that there was nothing I could do. So I left."

"I see. I felt horrible, too. But I knew I had to stay. It was our duty to those boys."

Roy looked down. He was tired, too.

"There's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you come visit me? The rest of the company did. Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman. Even Armstrong a few times. But never Hawkeye. Why?"

Riza looked up. "Someone had to take care of the company. Without a leader, they would be hopeless."

He almost smiled at that. "I half expected you to drop what you were doing and come stay. But I knew you wouldn't leave everything behind for me."

_I would have. If only you knew, I would have._

They had finally reached the apartment. She turned towards him as she fumbled for her key. "Well, this is our stop. I thank you for walking me home in this brisk weather. Quite a feat."

"For someone who stayed two years in an arctic security post? I don't think so," chuckled Roy.

She finally grabbed the key and unlocked her door. She felt the heat from the apartment wash over her. She turned around and saw Mustang, just standing and smiling at her.

_It__'__s now or never, Hawkeye._

"Listen, sir, I know it's quite a long walk back to your place. You wouldn't mind coming in so I can make you some tea, would you? Or at least to warm up for a few minutes."

_Did I honestly just ask him...What has gotten into me!?_

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Do you have green tea?"

"Of course I do. Come in."

They both stepped in, removing their coats. She switched on the light. The front room was small enough. It made Mustang feel particularly cozy. He took a seat on the couch in front of him. There was a bouquet of flowers on the coffee table in front of him.

Riza paced to the kitchen and warmed up the water. She poured it into the cups to let the tea steep and went to the small living room. She sat across from Roy, neatly crossing her legs in front of her.

"Well, Hawkeye. This is a nice setup. It's funny to think after all these years that this is the first time I'm visiting." He looked all around the room. It was funny to Hawkeye that he looked slightly amazed at the décor.

"It is a little strange. But it's not all the time that you walk me home from work. I really do appreciate it." Hawkeye unbuttoned her military jacket and slipped it on the chair beside her.

Mustang stared at her. A strange feeling came over him. Seeing her here, in her natural environment…it made her seem that much more beautiful.

Roy looked down and sighed. He knew this was the time. Either this, or he would never have the chance again.

"Hawkeye…the real reason I left was…I couldn't stand to see you disappointed in me. Those boys were primarily my responsibility and I let them both down. I hated the look on your face when they announced we lost Fullmetal. Hearing you talk about how our plan would have worked…It killed me. That sad smile I saw every time I looked at you. I couldn't take it. After I healed, I headed for the most distant post they had. I dropped my title and stopped alchemy. You can ask any of the men. I completely lost it. I apologize if I ever hurt you for that. I truly am sorry." He looked down.

Riza looked back at him, shocked. "Sir, I never blamed you. It was Fullmetal's own actions that sent him through the portal, not yours. I saw first hand how hard you fought for them. I knew you'd never let anything happen to them if you could help it. After you announced your departure, my heart broke. But I knew I had to stay for the rest of the company. I had to pick up where you left off. I became more and more frustrated every day, thinking you wouldn't come back. The night before you left, I don't think I ever cried so hard in my life. I never wanted you to leave. I missed you more than anything."

Roy reached his arms across the coffee table. She took his hands and held them tight.

"You cried for me?"

Hawkeye looked up at him, almost tearing up. She stood, still holding his hands, and maneuvered around the table to sit next to him.

"Of course I did. Mustang, you're the only person I've got left."

He looked down at her and, very softly, kissed her lips. To his surprise, she kissed him back.

Before he knew it, his arms were around her, rubbing her back as they kissed. He'd never kissed anyone with such fervor before. Their mouths opened against each other as the kissing became more intense. They were breathing hard, but that didn't stop them.

She sat on his lap, her legs straddling his. His hands slid down her sides and she clutched his face as they tried not to part. His kisses moved down from her lips to her jaw line. From there, they traced down to her neck. She leaned her head back and moaned. It was a sensitive spot. While he kissed her, he began to remove her undershirt. They quickly separated as he slid it all the way off, and quickly met again, kissing furiously.

Hawkeye returned the kissing as he tried to unbutton his shirt. It didn't help that his knuckles rubbed against her breasts. He could hardly focus. She went straight for the crook of his neck, sucking the skin against her teeth. He groaned. "Riza…"

Her breath caught in her throat. That was the first time he ever used her first name.

She leaned back and looked at him. He stared back at her, eye patch and all. That was when she knew. She knew how he felt. Her eyes almost felt teary. It was a few moments before they caved in again.

"Let's go to the bedroom. This couch needs a break," said Roy, grabbing Riza's hand and pulling her toward the hallway. "This is where the bedroom is, right?"

The two practically sprinted towards the door, still wearing their pants and boots. Roy was shirtless and Riza clad only in a bra.

Roy grabbed Riza around the waist and pulled her into the room. Riza pushed him back against the door and kissed him again.

"Riza, I didn't expect you to be so…forceful." Roy said between kisses.

"You…you have no idea how long I've wanted this, Roy," she said. She was breathing hard. They both were.

"It's okay. I like it." Roy pushed himself away from the door and led Riza backwards towards the bed. Her knees bent and he laid her on the edge. She slid herself back and pulled Roy along with her.

Roy grabbed the front of her pants and fumbled with the buttons. Riza pulled away from the kisses and brushed his hand away. Their foreheads pressed together as she got the zipper down. She frantically pulled her pants down, kicking her boots to the floor in the process.

Roy leaned up slightly and looked at Riza. His eyes shifted down and back up.

"This is just how I always imagined it. You are as beautiful as I thought."

Riza leaned up and kissed him hard. He straddled her legs and unbuckled his own pants. Once she heard his boots hit the floor, she slid herself up towards the headboard. He quickly followed.

He slid his hands behind her head and kissed her. Slowly, his kissing trailed down toward her collarbone. She whimpered in response, making Roy harder in return. She could feel his length pressing against her thigh. His quiet moans almost sounded frustrated.

"Oh, Roy…" Riza leaned up a bit so Roy could reach his hands around behind her. As he felt him remove her undergarment, she felt the barrier she'd had up for so long fall. Everything she'd wanted was right in front of her, but she wouldn't let herself admit it. And now, look where she was. She lost herself in what he was doing to her.

Even Roy, who was removing his last piece of clothing, couldn't comprehend how far they'd come in this one evening. He hadn't even begun to say everything he'd wanted, but this was a sure start.

Riza felt his fingers slide in and out of her. He was kissing her chest as he did so. She groaned in response and looked down. He stared back at her and almost reviled in her contorted face, knowing that he was the one making her do that. She leaned her head back. "Roy, please…"

She felt him pressing at her entrance. She looked at him and nodded.

As he slid into her, she felt a sensation move from her shoulders all the way down to her toes. Nobody had ever made her feel like this before. She wrapped her legs around him. That just pushed him all the deeper. "Oh, God, Roy."

He looked down at her. Just hearing her voice and seeing her eyes shut tight made him thrust harder. He wanted her to be louder. It drove him crazy.

"Riza…I want you so bad."

She paused in her moaning. "Roy…," she panted, "You already have me. You have for a long time."

He grunted as she pulled him closer. He softly moved his lips to her breast. She cried out as she felt his tongue swirling around on her nipple. She, too, made frustrated noises as he made love to her.

"Roy…faster…please…"

He quickened his pace and she groaned with every thrust. Roy got closer to the edge with every cry she made. She whimpered underneath him, and soon, he began to feel her muscles contract around him.

"I'm close, Roy."

He went harder and faster, working for both of them. They moaned so loudly, Riza swore it shook the walls. She could tell Roy was about to lose it. His cheek brushed against hers as he went to the crook of her neck. "Riza. Oh, God, Riza."

They went over the edge together, grasping at each other for life. They both cried out, moving with each other until it subsided.

Roy held his arms above her and looked down. Riza looked up and touched his face. He swore he almost saw tears in her eyes.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Riza, I love you, too. I always have."

He leaned down and kissed her for a long time. Lowering himself, he slid to her side and immediately clutched Riza to his chest. He didn't let go of her. Not once.

--

Riza awoke in the middle of the night to see _the _Roy Mustang lying next to her, one arm around her back. She smiled to herself from the memory of the night before. She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She was happy.

To her surprise, he wasn't asleep either.

"Can't sleep?" She heard his chest vibrate against her cheek.

"I…I'm just thinking about how surreal all this is. I mean, a few years ago, I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again. When you came back, my life was pieced back together again. I need you, Roy." She looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her there.

Roy thought about his time alone. Him and the picture of her that he stared at constantly. He'd tell her all about it soon. They had all the time in the world now. He was sure she could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He had Riza Hawkeye with him for the rest of his life. He looked down at her and couldn't believe it was finally happening.

"Of all men, you have the most girls fawning over you. And yet you chose me," she said, nuzzling his chest.

"Alchemists rebuild from what is separated. You must have been a part of me before."


End file.
